If you’re an impulsive person like me it can be very confusing when you are trying to discern if God is speaking to you or not. When your first instinct is always to react to emotions this can often lead you down the wrong path. Eventually, you get older and you either learn from your mistakes or you are just too tired to chase down every inspiration. If you are fortunate enough you can find a balance between your feelings, your experiences, and when the Lord is truly leading you.
I want to tell you about a particular time in my life where
God led me by the hand to my little emerald island to speak to me and show me
his great Heart.
Shortly after I left New
York I went to meet up with my husband so we could visit my in-laws in
Nova Scotia. We had a few little day trips planned but nothing major. We like
to stick around where the folks are because they are getting older and well,
you just never know what’s going to happen.
A few days after we arrived, we thought we might go to
Prince Edward Island for a day and we’d pack a bag in case we stayed overnight.
Or maybe we wouldn’t go at all. We’d been many times before so we weren’t
concerned if we put it off to another time.
The next day one of my children phoned. He told me he was
sorry to give me bad news on my vacation. He had waited until I left New York
in order not to put any more stress on me while I was there taking care of my
other son and his family, but he had a tumor and he couldn’t keep it from
me anymore. I felt time stop. I was caught in that horrific moment and I could
not move. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I tried to be strong
because if Mama is losing it then the world is surely ending.
Nobody knew for sure if the tumor was cancerous. Only
surgery and a biopsy could confirm it. I wanted to know when the surgery was
but it had not been scheduled yet. I told my son I was packing up and leaving
Nova Scotia as soon as possible but he was adamant that I stay where I was. I
reluctantly agreed.
I had been in the house for some time so my
husband came to see what was taking me so long. He said we should go home but I
told him we were to stay where we were. I asked him to tell his brother and
sister-in-law our news but I would not be making an appearance poolside that
evening. I also made my husband promise not to tell anyone else about the
diagnosis until we had more answers.
It was very difficult to sleep that night. I sat in the TV
room trying to find flights home on my phone even though I had promised to stay
put. No matter what I tried I could not find flights or make my phone
cooperate. I didn’t have access to a computer or laptop and calling the airline
was not an option. Finally, I went to bed.
I couldn’t face anyone the next morning so I told my husband
I wanted to go to PEI after all. He didn’t want to, but at this point he was
willing to do anything so I wouldn’t start crying again so we packed an
overnight bag, checked the ferry schedule, and headed out.
As we waited for the ferry, I remember it was a beautiful
sunny day. I flipped through some travel brochures while I had a coffee. I
decided we should go to the western part of the island as it as less touristy.
The last thing I wanted on this trip was to keep coming face to face with the
cheerful and eccentric Anne of Green Gables.
I can’t remember if it was a photo of the place or the
description that caught my attention but there was an old Catholic girls school
that had been converted into an inn in Tignish. It had a Mary garden complete
with a grotto. Instantly I wanted to go there. I called the number but I wasn’t
hopeful. August on the island is very busy. A lady with a kind voice and a
strong Maritime accent answered the phone and yes, there was exactly one room
left. I immediately booked it.
As we got closer to Tignish I began to notice that there
were quite a few roadside shrines to the Blessed Mother. Some were the regular
‘bathtub Mary’ version but there was one in particular that was quite large and made of
rocks, like a grotto. It was very comforting to me at that time to see this as
it reminded me of Lourdes, a place of many healing miracles.
As we drove up to the inn, I saw there was a beautiful old
brick church right next door. We asked about Mass times but one had
already been celebrated in the morning and there wouldn’t be another until
tomorrow evening. However, a famous organist would be playing a selection of
music after supper.
After dropping off our bag in the room we headed over to the
church. It was like a balm to my aching heart. There were beautiful paintings
on the walls, traditional gold stars on the ceiling, and statues of all my
favorite saints. We lit some candles and there was even a book where we could
write prayer requests. It was like a hug from heaven. And of course, Jesus was
there in the Tabernacle.
After the organ recital, I noticed there was Eucharistic
Adoration in the little chapel next door. I couldn’t believe that out there,
practically in the middle of nowhere, there was an Adoration chapel. My husband
headed back to our room and I was able to spend some quiet time praying with
Jesus. I slept well that night.
I was still scared for my son but our impromptu pilgrimage
to the little emerald island had given me the strength I needed to get through
the next few weeks. It was so clear to me that we had been led there to be
ministered to, and tenderly cared for, by Jesus and His mother. I still feel
dazed by their love and overwhelmed by how personal it was. Even the motto of
the province is Parva Sub Ingenti - the small under the
protection of the great. 💕
