My Rosary Story

The first time I prayed the rosary was sometime in the Spring of 2003. I had returned to the Church only a few months before and I was only acquainted with two or three people there and I didn’t know them well enough to ask them to teach me how to pray it. So, I learned how to pray the rosary online. There were many websites with diagrams and the basic prayers, most of which I already knew.

I had two sets of rosary beads. One was a set that my eldest son received when he made his First Holy Communion. They were very long and the chain was very light, almost flimsy, so they were a bit unwieldy for a novice to manage. The other beads were a tiny white plastic set. I literally had to look at each bead as I prayed or I got hopelessly lost. So, armed with my tiny beads and my computer I prayed my first Rosary. It felt very Catholic to me and I liked it.

As I searched different websites I began to see that the rosary was not a prayer reserved for little old Portuguese ladies in black veils (at that time my parish had quite a few of those.) Lots of people, including young ones like me (I was 38 at the time) also prayed it.

I prayed the rosary a few more times. I’d get the order of the mysteries mixed up but I wasn’t too worried about that. As long as I covered all five mysteries for that day that was enough. God wasn’t keeping score.

One afternoon I felt the urge to pray the rosary but realized I had already prayed it in the morning. I didn’t know you could pray it multiple times a day!

The first time I heard the rosary prayed in a group was right after St. Pope John Paul II died. We had a prayer service and I was captivated by all the voices praying in unison. Many people were also on their knees. It was a beautiful and holy experience.

Around that time, aside from a few special occasions, the rosary was only prayed in a group on Tuesday night after Mass. Sometimes I would stay for it and I longed to lead a decade but different people would lead and it seemed each one had “their” mystery and there was to be no deviation from the “schedule.”

In recent years the rosary became a daily occurrence, either before or after most Masses. Finally, I was given the opportunity to lead a decade once in a while. At first it was nerve wracking but as I became more comfortable it became easier. There were even times when I was allowed to lead the entire thing.

In the last 23 days I have prayed the rosary every day as part of preparation to renew my consecration to Mary. Twenty-three more days to go! Using a form of Ignatian spirituality I have received new insights into the mysteries these last few weeks and I may share some of these ideas this month. 

The rosary is such a simple set of prayers yet it is so profound. It illuminates the life of Jesus but also demonstrates how intrinsic Mary is to the plan of our salvation.

If it’s been a while since you “called your mother” I invite you to pick up your beads right now and speak and pray with Mama Mary today. She’ll be so happy to hear your voice.

Marian Consecration - Part III

Marian Consecration Part I is HERE and Part II is HERE.

The last few days before my Marian consecration was spent reviewing the lessons of the past 4 weeks. The book also reminded me of the duties I would be pledging to carry out and also the corresponding obligations Mary would take on in response. I liked it that it wasn’t all on me and it wasn’t all on Mary. We were doing this together, like mother and daughter.

A few days before the consecration I went to confession. I always find that a good confession facilitates an even more powerful experience of God working in my life, no matter what I am involved in. It’s like clearing a blocked pipe – everything runs more smoothly and efficiently after the junk is gone. Retreats, pilgrimages, teaching RCIA, praying for others, all of it is enriched and more effective after receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

I also needed a Miraculous Medal to wear as a sign of my consecration. Thankfully I already had one so on the day of the consecration I wore it and had my priest bless it.

Finally, the Big Day arrived! I was grateful that I had chosen January 1, the Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God, to be consecrated as it is a holy day of obligation. I went to Mass and immediately after I received Holy Communion, I prayed the Consecration Prayer. It was a more moving experience than I had anticipated.

The rest of 2016 was relatively uneventful though I did find new employment. I also participated in the Life in the Spirit seminars which I found tremendously rewarding. I would say that my consecration began to pave the way to fulfilling one of my lifelong dreams the following year, my pilgrimage to Lourdes. I’ll discuss that in another series of blog posts in the future.

Marian Consecration - Part II

So what is Marian consecration? Consecration is the solemn dedication to a special purpose or service. The word consecration literally means "association with the sacred". You can see why I was initially hesitant to take this on – it is serious stuff.

I decided to go ahead with it because for the first time in my life I had the time to reflect on the material in the book. I also felt I had matured sufficiently in the spiritual life to see this through to the end. It wouldn’t be my typical mode of "start strong and end with a thud."

The timing couldn’t have been better as it was nearly Advent. As the liturgical year moved forward in preparation for the celebration of the Nativity, and in anticipation of the eventual return of Jesus, Mother Mary and I would be travelling together in purpose and service.

Despite the gravity of this undertaking, Fr. Gaitley promised his book would be an easy and updated way to enter into the blessings of being consecrated to Mary, and it was. It only took a few minutes to prayerfully read the daily chapter. Sometimes I would journal my thoughts or write notes in the margins. Daily pondering bore spiritual fruit -  praying the rosary took on a deeper meaning,  the fullness of Mary’s free will became clearer, and the role of the Holy Spirit was even more dynamic than I had imagined. I also found this method of preparation worked well with my natural tendencies as I tend to get bored or tune out when reciting long prayers, which make up a portion of St. Louis de Montfort’s True Devotion to Mary. 

Before I knew it, Advent was over, and Christmas Day arrived. My consecration date was one week away.

Continue here…

Marian Consecration - Part I

I had just been laid off and the days at home were endless. After working steadily for 25 years the time lay heavy on my hands. It was mid-November so the days were getting shorter and darker. My employed friends were at work all day and my retired friends had their own things to do. I was lonely and depressed. 

Thankfully I had a friend who had a day off during the week so we decided to meet for breakfast. As I approached our table I saw she was reading a book. The cover seemed familiar. It turns out I had seen it displayed at the religious goods counter at church. It was 33 Days to Morning Glory by Fr. Michael Gaitley. I was intrigued.

I had thought about making a Marian consecration before. I had tried to read St. Louis de Montfort’s True Devotion to Mary but the florid language put me off. I couldn’t make it past the first chapter. I was also wary of entering into a promise to the Mother of God that I might not be able to keep. I didn't  know how much Mary was going to require of me.

I asked my friend some questions about the process and she was very encouraging.  She gave me the book to flip through and I saw that the daily readings weren’t more than 2 or 3 pages long and they were written in Fr. Gaitley’s engaging and conversational style. As we talked about the preparation and subsequent consecration, I began to feel a sense of hope and excitement that I had not felt in a long time.

The book suggested following St. Louis’s advice to schedule the 33 days of preparation so they would end on the vigil (the evening before) of a Marian feast day. There was a handy chart to consult; the earliest I could start was Nov. 29 and I would be consecrated on January 1, Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God. It sounded like a very good way to start 2016.

Click here to continue…

The Seven Sorrows of Mary

August is the month devoted to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I had every intention to write several posts about the Blessed Mother at that time but like most of my plans, they fell by the wayside. However, I reread some of my recent entries and Mama Mary does show up fairly often in the background. Her typical modus operandi is to pass by almost undetected, to never demand, only to point out, so I am not surprised.

Now September is upon us. Even as the summer winds down, or at least what passed for it up here, and the earth slows to a rest, it can also be a time of new beginnings. School starts again, parish activities resume (the public praying of the Rosary starts again next week!) and as we head indoors perhaps we are cracking open more serious books.

September is also the month dedicated to the Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary. This year that seems more relevant than ever. Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed by everything. I am somewhat insulated from the stress as I have been at home after being laid off for almost 6 months but the isolation can get to me. As I write this, I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop so I can see and hear real live human beings. If I close my eyes, I can pretend I am a famous author writing outlines for my next bestseller, in a Parisian cafe. But I digress…

I’m more familiar with the Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet so I had to do a little research regarding the Seven Sorrows of Mary. The sorrows are as follows; the prophecy of Simeon, the flight into Egypt, the Child Jesus lost in the temple, Mary meets Jesus carrying the cross, Mary at the foot of the cross, Mary receiving the body of Jesus, and Mary witnessing the burial of Jesus. You can read more about the Seven Sorrows by clicking HERE.

The Sorrow that especially resonates with me is the Fifth Sorrow. Mary is at the cross, watching her child suffer. Then Jesus tells John, and by extension, all of us, "Behold your mother.” Mary accepts her mission to become a spiritual mother to everyone at that moment. Mary is also our model as we nurture the divine life in others as their spiritual mother. St. Pope John Paul II wrote in his Letter to Women, that spiritual motherhood has “inestimable value for the development of individuals and the future of society.” It is a beautiful vocation.

There are times when I simply cannot relate to a sinless Virgin Mother with a perfect child, but a woman crying in anguish with swords in her heart, that has been familiar territory. 

He Leadeth Me

If you’re an impulsive person like me it can be very confusing when you are trying to discern if God is speaking to you or not. When your first instinct is always to react to emotions this can often lead you down the wrong path. Eventually, you get older and you either learn from your mistakes or you are just too tired to chase down every inspiration. If you are fortunate enough you can find a balance between your feelings, your experiences, and when the Lord is truly leading you.

I want to tell you about a particular time in my life where God led me by the hand to my little emerald island to speak to me and show me his great Heart.

Shortly after I left New York I went to meet up with my husband so we could visit my in-laws in Nova Scotia. We had a few little day trips planned but nothing major. We like to stick around where the folks are because they are getting older and well, you just never know what’s going to happen.

A few days after we arrived, we thought we might go to Prince Edward Island for a day and we’d pack a bag in case we stayed overnight. Or maybe we wouldn’t go at all. We’d been many times before so we weren’t concerned if we put it off to another time.

The next day one of my children phoned. He told me he was sorry to give me bad news on my vacation. He had waited until I left New York in order not to put any more stress on me while I was there taking care of my other son and his family, but he had a tumor and he couldn’t keep it from me anymore. I felt time stop. I was caught in that horrific moment and I could not move. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I tried to be strong because if Mama is losing it then the world is surely ending.

Nobody knew for sure if the tumor was cancerous. Only surgery and a biopsy could confirm it. I wanted to know when the surgery was but it had not been scheduled yet. I told my son I was packing up and leaving Nova Scotia as soon as possible but he was adamant that I stay where I was. I reluctantly agreed. 

I had been in the house for some time so my husband came to see what was taking me so long. He said we should go home but I told him we were to stay where we were. I asked him to tell his brother and sister-in-law our news but I would not be making an appearance poolside that evening. I also made my husband promise not to tell anyone else about the diagnosis until we had more answers.

It was very difficult to sleep that night. I sat in the TV room trying to find flights home on my phone even though I had promised to stay put. No matter what I tried I could not find flights or make my phone cooperate. I didn’t have access to a computer or laptop and calling the airline was not an option. Finally, I went to bed.

I couldn’t face anyone the next morning so I told my husband I wanted to go to PEI after all. He didn’t want to, but at this point he was willing to do anything so I wouldn’t start crying again so we packed an overnight bag, checked the ferry schedule, and headed out.

As we waited for the ferry, I remember it was a beautiful sunny day. I flipped through some travel brochures while I had a coffee. I decided we should go to the western part of the island as it as less touristy. The last thing I wanted on this trip was to keep coming face to face with the cheerful and eccentric Anne of Green Gables.

I can’t remember if it was a photo of the place or the description that caught my attention but there was an old Catholic girls school that had been converted into an inn in Tignish. It had a Mary garden complete with a grotto. Instantly I wanted to go there. I called the number but I wasn’t hopeful. August on the island is very busy. A lady with a kind voice and a strong Maritime accent answered the phone and yes, there was exactly one room left. I immediately booked it.

As we got closer to Tignish I began to notice that there were quite a few roadside shrines to the Blessed Mother. Some were the regular ‘bathtub Mary’ version but there was one in particular that was quite large and made of rocks, like a grotto. It was very comforting to me at that time to see this as it reminded me of Lourdes, a place of many healing miracles.

As we drove up to the inn, I saw there was a beautiful old brick church right next door. We asked about Mass times but one had already been celebrated in the morning and there wouldn’t be another until tomorrow evening. However, a famous organist would be playing a selection of music after supper.

After dropping off our bag in the room we headed over to the church. It was like a balm to my aching heart. There were beautiful paintings on the walls, traditional gold stars on the ceiling, and statues of all my favorite saints. We lit some candles and there was even a book where we could write prayer requests. It was like a hug from heaven. And of course, Jesus was there in the Tabernacle.

After the organ recital, I noticed there was Eucharistic Adoration in the little chapel next door. I couldn’t believe that out there, practically in the middle of nowhere, there was an Adoration chapel. My husband headed back to our room and I was able to spend some quiet time praying with Jesus. I slept well that night.

I was still scared for my son but our impromptu pilgrimage to the little emerald island had given me the strength I needed to get through the next few weeks. It was so clear to me that we had been led there to be ministered to, and tenderly cared for, by Jesus and His mother. I still feel dazed by their love and overwhelmed by how personal it was. Even the motto of the province is Parva Sub Ingenti - the small under the protection of the great. 💕

 

A Shower of Roses on Assumption

Today is the Feast of the Assumption of Mary. I love this feast because it celebrates Mary’s body and soul entering into heaven and being reunited with her Son. It’s also a bittersweet day because it’s the anniversary of my mother’s passing.

My mother was far away from the Church when she died although she wasn’t hostile towards it. She was no feminist but she felt in some ways the Church was somewhat old fashioned. She also grew up in a time when a lot of what passed for church teaching was more misunderstanding and even superstition. You know, like if I pray this prayer for 9 days in a row then X will be guaranteed to happen. She told me that as a child she was sure she would go straight to hell if she ate meat on Fridays. She came of age just as Vatican II got underway so there was even more confusion. She loved Pope St. John XXIII and the whole idea of ‘opening windows in the Church’ yet I don’t remember her ever going to Mass except for my grandmother’s funeral. Still, she believed in a good God and she was a very loving, kind, patient, and generous mother to my brother and me.

A few years ago, it was the 20th anniversary of her passing. Every year this anniversary was brutal. Right after my birthday in the middle of July, I would start going into a depression in anticipation of it. I was laying in bed that morning and I was probably crying. In desperation, I prayed for St. Therese’s intercession. I prayed she would send me a rose to let me know if my mother was alright. I asked her to send a very clear sign, something as obvious as a 2 x 4 to the head as I didn’t want to second guess myself. I wasn’t sure it was the right thing to pray for because we are not supposed to ask for signs, we are supposed to have faith, especially when things don’t look very promising. At the same time, Therese had promised that ‘When I die, I will send down a shower of roses from the heavens, I will spend my heaven by doing good on earth.’  So, I got up and I went about my business that morning and tried not to think much more about it.

At noon the mail arrived and right on the top of the pile was an envelope from the Society of the Little Flower featuring 3 red roses and stating that my St. Therese Rosary was enclosed. On the back of the envelope was a picture of St. Therese and a statement that she was known for her love of roses and is often called on to have one sent from her heavenly garden as a sign of hope.  I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter addressed to me. The first line read, ‘There’s nothing like a mother’s love, is there?’ And then I really started to cry! Therese had clearly sent me a rose as a sign of hope.

I had not ordered this rosary or expected any correspondence from this society. I had never even heard of them before. It was actually a letter seeking donations so my name and address had been sold to them by somebody. At the same time, I did not care that this came about in such a worldly way. Events had been put into place in anticipation of this day so that my prayer would be answered and I was grateful. After all, had I not prayed this same prayer every year since my mother died?

Many will chalk up this particular event to coincidence but time and time again God has shown me his love and care exactly when I needed it most. He made us to be tactile beings and will use earthly signs to connect with us and respond to us. 

As for the yearly depression in anticipation of the anniversary of my mother’s passing, that’s gone. I now feel peace on this day. I still miss my earthly mother but my hope is that she is now enjoying Eternity with our Blessed Mother and her Son. Amen! 🌹🌹🌹

Assumption - How It Is Possible

In preparation for the Feast of the Assumption tomorrow I would like to share the following, written by  Elizabeth Scalia few years ago. 

"For most of my life, the assumption of Mary existed as little more, for me, than a head-scratcher of a dogma.

I understood that Elijah and Enoch had been assumed into heaven, so if I considered Mary’s assumption..."

Read the rest here. 

Elizabeth explains microchimerism and how it relates to Mary and all women and it is fascinating!

Meeting Mary

August is dedicated to the Immaculate Heart of Mary so I hope to post several more reflections over the coming weeks about the Blessed Mother.

It’s December and I am six years old and in Grade One. We are drawing Christmas themed pictures with pastels. After our art class we will practice for the school concert where we will sing about wise men, a travelling star, and a baby being born in a manger. I select a sky-blue pastel to draw the veil on the mother of the baby in the stable. To this day I cannot remember why I chose this particular colour as a small child would not know that blue has been associated with the Virgin Mary for hundreds of years. And so, my relationship with the Blessed Mother is born in a public school of all places.

I think a lot of people have this sort of arms length relationship with Mary. She’s trotted out at Christmas, part of the Nativity scene placed on the mantel, or as a character in a church basement play, perhaps appearing on a Christmas card although these are getting harder to find.

Thirty-two years later I find myself sneaking into the back of a church that is built in the round. Do you know how hard it is to sneak into a round building?

This is my first Sunday back at Mass after a five year absence. It’s the first Sunday of Advent and I’m probably not the only one feeling a pull to return, however briefly. But this time something is different and I keep coming back Sunday after Sunday.

I find the church heavy on men, not necessarily in the pews but in the hierarchy. I’m not sure how to reconcile my discomfort but I don’t want to leave. So, I find myself turning to Mary. She’s gentle, quiet, a reassuring maternal presence. She radiates peace and calm. She teaches me about her Son through the mysteries of the rosary and she prays for me. When I read about her in the bible she is always pondering, considering, giving practical and sensible advice, and praising God. I begin to worry a little that I might love her too much.

Then one day I realize that I haven’t thought about her for some time. Instead I am thinking about Jesus and loving him more and more each day. And then I smile because that was her mission all along – to lead me to her Son.