My Rosary Story

The first time I prayed the rosary was sometime in the Spring of 2003. I had returned to the Church only a few months before and I was only acquainted with two or three people there and I didn’t know them well enough to ask them to teach me how to pray it. So, I learned how to pray the rosary online. There were many websites with diagrams and the basic prayers, most of which I already knew.

I had two sets of rosary beads. One was a set that my eldest son received when he made his First Holy Communion. They were very long and the chain was very light, almost flimsy, so they were a bit unwieldy for a novice to manage. The other beads were a tiny white plastic set. I literally had to look at each bead as I prayed or I got hopelessly lost. So, armed with my tiny beads and my computer I prayed my first Rosary. It felt very Catholic to me and I liked it.

As I searched different websites I began to see that the rosary was not a prayer reserved for little old Portuguese ladies in black veils (at that time my parish had quite a few of those.) Lots of people, including young ones like me (I was 38 at the time) also prayed it.

I prayed the rosary a few more times. I’d get the order of the mysteries mixed up but I wasn’t too worried about that. As long as I covered all five mysteries for that day that was enough. God wasn’t keeping score.

One afternoon I felt the urge to pray the rosary but realized I had already prayed it in the morning. I didn’t know you could pray it multiple times a day!

The first time I heard the rosary prayed in a group was right after St. Pope John Paul II died. We had a prayer service and I was captivated by all the voices praying in unison. Many people were also on their knees. It was a beautiful and holy experience.

Around that time, aside from a few special occasions, the rosary was only prayed in a group on Tuesday night after Mass. Sometimes I would stay for it and I longed to lead a decade but different people would lead and it seemed each one had “their” mystery and there was to be no deviation from the “schedule.”

In recent years the rosary became a daily occurrence, either before or after most Masses. Finally, I was given the opportunity to lead a decade once in a while. At first it was nerve wracking but as I became more comfortable it became easier. There were even times when I was allowed to lead the entire thing.

In the last 23 days I have prayed the rosary every day as part of preparation to renew my consecration to Mary. Twenty-three more days to go! Using a form of Ignatian spirituality I have received new insights into the mysteries these last few weeks and I may share some of these ideas this month. 

The rosary is such a simple set of prayers yet it is so profound. It illuminates the life of Jesus but also demonstrates how intrinsic Mary is to the plan of our salvation.

If it’s been a while since you “called your mother” I invite you to pick up your beads right now and speak and pray with Mama Mary today. She’ll be so happy to hear your voice.

Bewitched

I picked up the local paper this week and I have to say I was shocked that there was a full-page story on a woman that identifies as a witch. When I read the article, I wasn’t exactly angry, except for the last line, but I fear for this woman’s soul and everyone in her sphere of influence.

The article paints a very innocuous and inoffensive portrait of witchcraft and magic. This is the typical modus operandi of evil. Satan never shows up with horns and a pitchfork. He shows up today, just as he did in Eden, with a subtle promise of knowledge and a taste of forbidden fruit. He sees where we are curious, perhaps somewhat inattentive or hurting, and begins to groom us. Did that give you a shiver? Good.

However, even though satan is powerful it’s important to remember that he cannot read your mind. He is observant and can play on our vulnerabilities but only God knows your thoughts.

In the article, the woman being interviewed is quoted as saying she works in love and light. Interestingly, she used the description of light. As a Catholic Christian, I believe Jesus is the Light. For a witch, the light can only mean Lucifer, the fallen archangel. The evil one has manipulated a symbol of goodness to serve his own purposes. This woman has been bewitched and does not realize how she is being used. She thinks she has power but she is actually a pawn. 

The article goes on to talk about reincarnation. The Catholic church has always denied it and the bible condemns it. In Hebrews 9:27, St. Paul writes, and just as it is appointed for mortals to die once, and after that the judgment. The self-professed witch states she had experiences of past lives. I would say she is trying to apply some kind of meaning, however misguided and flawed, to her dramatic imagination. Francis Cardinal Arinze attributes these sorts of beliefs to “ the desire to escape the consequences of one's life choices and modern stress.”

As always, I cannot overstress the evil of Tarot cards and the Ouija board. So many people think these are fun or entertaining. They are actually doorways that demons can easily use to gain entry into your life. I even heard of a Wiccan who avoids the cards as she found them to be malevolent and controlling and claiming she had seen great evil come from the use of them.

The article concludes with a quote from its subject that she is not worried if we don’t believe her, that we are not where she is yet. And with that I smashed the newspaper shut and loudly said, Thanks be to our Almighty Powerful Living God that we are not!

*****

Seek the Lord while he may be found,

    call upon him while he is near;

 let the wicked forsake their way,

    and the unrighteous their thoughts;

let them return to the Lord, that he may have mercy on them,

    and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

Isaiah 55:6-7 

Marian Consecration - Part III

Marian Consecration Part I is HERE and Part II is HERE.

The last few days before my Marian consecration was spent reviewing the lessons of the past 4 weeks. The book also reminded me of the duties I would be pledging to carry out and also the corresponding obligations Mary would take on in response. I liked it that it wasn’t all on me and it wasn’t all on Mary. We were doing this together, like mother and daughter.

A few days before the consecration I went to confession. I always find that a good confession facilitates an even more powerful experience of God working in my life, no matter what I am involved in. It’s like clearing a blocked pipe – everything runs more smoothly and efficiently after the junk is gone. Retreats, pilgrimages, teaching RCIA, praying for others, all of it is enriched and more effective after receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

I also needed a Miraculous Medal to wear as a sign of my consecration. Thankfully I already had one so on the day of the consecration I wore it and had my priest bless it.

Finally, the Big Day arrived! I was grateful that I had chosen January 1, the Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God, to be consecrated as it is a holy day of obligation. I went to Mass and immediately after I received Holy Communion, I prayed the Consecration Prayer. It was a more moving experience than I had anticipated.

The rest of 2016 was relatively uneventful though I did find new employment. I also participated in the Life in the Spirit seminars which I found tremendously rewarding. I would say that my consecration began to pave the way to fulfilling one of my lifelong dreams the following year, my pilgrimage to Lourdes. I’ll discuss that in another series of blog posts in the future.

Trust

O Christ Jesus, when all is darkness and we feel our weakness and helplessness, give us the sense of Your presence, Your love, and Your strength. Help us to have perfect trust in Your protecting love and strengthening power, so that nothing may frighten or worry us, for, living close to You, we shall see Your hand, Your purpose, Your will through all things.

~ St. Ignatius of Loyola

Marian Consecration - Part II

So what is Marian consecration? Consecration is the solemn dedication to a special purpose or service. The word consecration literally means "association with the sacred". You can see why I was initially hesitant to take this on – it is serious stuff.

I decided to go ahead with it because for the first time in my life I had the time to reflect on the material in the book. I also felt I had matured sufficiently in the spiritual life to see this through to the end. It wouldn’t be my typical mode of "start strong and end with a thud."

The timing couldn’t have been better as it was nearly Advent. As the liturgical year moved forward in preparation for the celebration of the Nativity, and in anticipation of the eventual return of Jesus, Mother Mary and I would be travelling together in purpose and service.

Despite the gravity of this undertaking, Fr. Gaitley promised his book would be an easy and updated way to enter into the blessings of being consecrated to Mary, and it was. It only took a few minutes to prayerfully read the daily chapter. Sometimes I would journal my thoughts or write notes in the margins. Daily pondering bore spiritual fruit -  praying the rosary took on a deeper meaning,  the fullness of Mary’s free will became clearer, and the role of the Holy Spirit was even more dynamic than I had imagined. I also found this method of preparation worked well with my natural tendencies as I tend to get bored or tune out when reciting long prayers, which make up a portion of St. Louis de Montfort’s True Devotion to Mary. 

Before I knew it, Advent was over, and Christmas Day arrived. My consecration date was one week away.

Continue here…

Darkness or Dryness

Is it the Dark Night of the Soul? Probably not. St. John of the Cross said sometimes people think they are going through a dark night when all they are going through is the result of their own carelessness, laziness, not resisting temptation, not being faithful in prayer, and not being with other Christians who can help them grow.

The darkness and dryness that can come into one’s soul from resistance to prayer and the things of the Spirit, is something you bring on yourself. Repent and return to the Lord. It’s so much easier to stay in spiritual condition, than to get out of spiritual condition and get back in it.

Inspired by a talk Dr. Ralph Martin gave on what we need to do to progress in our life in the Spirit. 

Marian Consecration - Part I

I had just been laid off and the days at home were endless. After working steadily for 25 years the time lay heavy on my hands. It was mid-November so the days were getting shorter and darker. My employed friends were at work all day and my retired friends had their own things to do. I was lonely and depressed. 

Thankfully I had a friend who had a day off during the week so we decided to meet for breakfast. As I approached our table I saw she was reading a book. The cover seemed familiar. It turns out I had seen it displayed at the religious goods counter at church. It was 33 Days to Morning Glory by Fr. Michael Gaitley. I was intrigued.

I had thought about making a Marian consecration before. I had tried to read St. Louis de Montfort’s True Devotion to Mary but the florid language put me off. I couldn’t make it past the first chapter. I was also wary of entering into a promise to the Mother of God that I might not be able to keep. I didn't  know how much Mary was going to require of me.

I asked my friend some questions about the process and she was very encouraging.  She gave me the book to flip through and I saw that the daily readings weren’t more than 2 or 3 pages long and they were written in Fr. Gaitley’s engaging and conversational style. As we talked about the preparation and subsequent consecration, I began to feel a sense of hope and excitement that I had not felt in a long time.

The book suggested following St. Louis’s advice to schedule the 33 days of preparation so they would end on the vigil (the evening before) of a Marian feast day. There was a handy chart to consult; the earliest I could start was Nov. 29 and I would be consecrated on January 1, Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God. It sounded like a very good way to start 2016.

Click here to continue…

Crossing the Hecate Strait

I boarded the ferry to the Queen Charlotte Islands, as Haida Gwaii was known in those days, and found a seat for the 6-hour trip across the Hecate Strait. I made sure I was seated so I could face the window. The seasoned passengers had booked cabins so they could leave their possessions safely while they roamed the decks or went to the cafeteria. Other travellers bunked down around the perimeter of the main lounge with their sleeping bags and packsacks. I tried to settle in my seat but the back was at an uncomfortable angle. It was going to be a long trip.

In those pre-internet days, we read books, played cards, or talked to our travelling companions while we were on a journey. I opened my book and tried to concentrate but the young couple sitting behind me were talking and distracting me.

The man told his wife that the Lord had told him several things. She responded that the Lord had also communicated with her. They were very confident and self-assured about this. On and on it went, the two of them describing their mission from God. I was not used to people of faith talking about their relationship with Jesus. I thought it was bizarre and obnoxious.  I wondered if they were making a big show of it for my benefit.  I also wondered why they didn’t speak in hushed tones about their faith. You know, like a Catholic would.

Not that I really had a clue about what a Catholic would do. Even though I got myself to church fairly regularly I couldn’t have given you a confident and clear answer on much of anything the Church taught. My faith was more of a vague spirituality and a list of don’ts. 

After about 15 minutes of listening to this couple talk about their direct line to God, I was thoroughly annoyed and I tried to find another seat. I ended up near another couple. Listening to them speak German, which I barely understood, was preferable to listening to the Christian couple speak in English about things I could not understand at all.

Even in my aggravation I was also envious that they had this freedom to speak out loud about their beliefs and experiences. I really wanted that for myself but I didn't know how a Catholic could do that. I suspected Catholic Charismatics might be able to, but they were so foreign to me I didn't think I could bridge that gap or would even want to. Perhaps the Holy Spirit led me to that particular seat so he could stir my conscience and my soul, though it would be at least another 10 years before I experienced any real conversion.  

"For your mercies’ sake, O Lord my God, tell me what you are to me. Say to my soul: “I am your salvation.” So, speak that I may hear, O Lord; my heart is listening; open it that it may hear you, and say to my soul: “I am your salvation.”

After hearing this word, may I come in haste to take hold of you. Hide not your face from me. Let me see your face even if I die, lest I die with longing to see it.

The house of my soul is too small to receive you; let it be enlarged by you. It is all in ruins; do you repair it.

There are things in it – I confess and I know – that must offend your sight. But who shall cleanse it? Or to what others besides you shall I cry out?

From my secret sins cleanse me, O Lord, and from those of others spare your servant. Amen."

- St. Augustine

A Shower of Roses on Assumption

Today is the Feast of the Assumption of Mary. I love this feast because it celebrates Mary’s body and soul entering into heaven and being reunited with her Son. It’s also a bittersweet day because it’s the anniversary of my mother’s passing.

My mother was far away from the Church when she died although she wasn’t hostile towards it. She was no feminist but she felt in some ways the Church was somewhat old fashioned. She also grew up in a time when a lot of what passed for church teaching was more misunderstanding and even superstition. You know, like if I pray this prayer for 9 days in a row then X will be guaranteed to happen. She told me that as a child she was sure she would go straight to hell if she ate meat on Fridays. She came of age just as Vatican II got underway so there was even more confusion. She loved Pope St. John XXIII and the whole idea of ‘opening windows in the Church’ yet I don’t remember her ever going to Mass except for my grandmother’s funeral. Still, she believed in a good God and she was a very loving, kind, patient, and generous mother to my brother and me.

A few years ago, it was the 20th anniversary of her passing. Every year this anniversary was brutal. Right after my birthday in the middle of July, I would start going into a depression in anticipation of it. I was laying in bed that morning and I was probably crying. In desperation, I prayed for St. Therese’s intercession. I prayed she would send me a rose to let me know if my mother was alright. I asked her to send a very clear sign, something as obvious as a 2 x 4 to the head as I didn’t want to second guess myself. I wasn’t sure it was the right thing to pray for because we are not supposed to ask for signs, we are supposed to have faith, especially when things don’t look very promising. At the same time, Therese had promised that ‘When I die, I will send down a shower of roses from the heavens, I will spend my heaven by doing good on earth.’  So, I got up and I went about my business that morning and tried not to think much more about it.

At noon the mail arrived and right on the top of the pile was an envelope from the Society of the Little Flower featuring 3 red roses and stating that my St. Therese Rosary was enclosed. On the back of the envelope was a picture of St. Therese and a statement that she was known for her love of roses and is often called on to have one sent from her heavenly garden as a sign of hope.  I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter addressed to me. The first line read, ‘There’s nothing like a mother’s love, is there?’ And then I really started to cry! Therese had clearly sent me a rose as a sign of hope.

I had not ordered this rosary or expected any correspondence from this society. I had never even heard of them before. It was actually a letter seeking donations so my name and address had been sold to them by somebody. At the same time, I did not care that this came about in such a worldly way. Events had been put into place in anticipation of this day so that my prayer would be answered and I was grateful. After all, had I not prayed this same prayer every year since my mother died?

Many will chalk up this particular event to coincidence but time and time again God has shown me his love and care exactly when I needed it most. He made us to be tactile beings and will use earthly signs to connect with us and respond to us. 

As for the yearly depression in anticipation of the anniversary of my mother’s passing, that’s gone. I now feel peace on this day. I still miss my earthly mother but my hope is that she is now enjoying Eternity with our Blessed Mother and her Son. Amen! 🌹🌹🌹

Plaster Saints

I’m sure you’ve heard of the book “Tuesdays With Morrie.” It’s a memoir Mitch Albom wrote about a series of visits he made to his former sociology professor Morrie Schwartz.  Well, I have “Tuesdays with Mary” (not her real name). We used to enjoy getting together for coffee after Wednesday morning Mass but the virus-that-shall-not-be-named put a stop to that. After a few weeks of soul crushing loneliness, we figured out a way to continue getting together and started meeting outside at her house, under the eaves, and spaced several feet apart. We are sheltered from the incessant rain this summer but we’ll have to figure out a new plan once the weather turns cold. One day at a time…

This past Tuesday we were discussing the wildly popular TV drama The Chosen. If you haven’t seen it, we highly recommend you watch it! The director describes it as “not your grandma’s Jesus show” and he isn’t kidding. The series portrays Jesus through the eyes of those who met him. I can guarantee you will see yourself in one or more of the characters. I can totally relate to temperamental and impulsive Simon Peter! What I love about this show is that the apostles are depicted as flesh and blood humans that sweat, cry, laugh, feel emotion, and make mistakes. They are not plaster saints.

It was Mary that introduced me to the phrase “plaster saints.” The dictionary defines them as a person without human failings. In pious literature and art these people are often held up as tranquil and perfect examples of what we should aspire to be. In my personal experience it’s impossible to achieve that. Thankfully God’s grace goes a long way to assist me in overcoming struggles and temptations.

The most plaster-y plaster saint has to be St. Therese of Lisieux. She is almost always portrayed as cloying and sweet. Her sister edited her writings and likely introduced an element of florid Victorian piety into Therese’s original diary entries. Therese is also reputed to send roses in answer to a prayer and many people find this very appealing, myself included.

The truth is that St. Therese was a spoiled brat when she was little. She was the baby of 5 surviving daughters from a fairly comfortable family and her mother died when she was very young. It’s no wonder her family overcompensated for this great loss and pampered and indulged her. But Therese had a tremendous and sudden conversion at the age of 14. Most of us don’t experience sudden conversion. It’s more like 5 steps forward and 3 steps back and repeat and repeat and repeat. Eventually St. Therese followed her sisters into the Carmel but it wasn’t all smooth sailing after that. She struggled with the other nuns at times because she was high-spirited and often misunderstood. Near the end of her life she experienced a very dark period that tested her faith.

I bought Therese’s diary titled “Story of a Soul” in the first flush of my conversion/reversion but the book sat unread on my shelf for quite some time. Then one year I needed to find something to read for Lent. By this time, I had heard rumors that Therese’s writings were saccharine and antiquated so I figured if I could get through this book it would make for a great Lenten penance. It would be right up there with putting dried peas in my shoes. So, I cracked open the book and was surprised to find msyelf becoming engrossed in it. Out came the highlighter – the book soon sported baby blue lines and stars throughout. Yes, Therese’s writings can be somewhat effusive but she was very much led by Love and the Holy Spirit so it’s no wonder she found it hard to rein herself in.  

In Therese’s thirst for life she also acknowledged her littleness, her utter dependence on God. I was tempted to post several of Therese's quotes referring to this but there are simply too many. Instead I will close with her last words at the tender age of 24 – “My God, I love you.” 🌹