Wounds and Scars

I had coffee with a friend the other day and somehow we started talking about scars from the past. I mentioned that Jesus still manifests the wounds from the nails and the spear on his body. I don’t think too many people give much thought to that. I couldn’t understand it myself for a long time until I read that it is a visible reminder of what Jesus did for us.

I often wish I could have selective amnesia so I would stop getting flashbacks. But then I remember the wounds of Jesus and a beautiful quote from Mother Angelica. She said, 

“Some of your pain will never go away. It will become our hidden cross, known to you and God alone. This is the cross of Jesus…Our lives are not some kind of spiritual endurance test designed to see how much punishment and humiliation we can take from the world in despair. But we do accept responsibility to radiate the love of Jesus to the world. And part of that responsibility calls us to accept whatever it is that comes our way with a loving detachment…Jesus’ act of forgiveness did not take away his pain. And your forgiveness will not take away yours.”

I almost want to say – then why bother forgiving?!

We often hear that we’ll never fully understand why most of the injustices we suffer have been permitted by God. We’re told that in the next life we will know why and even thank God for bringing good out of our suffering. No wonder St. Teresa of Avila told God that if this is how he treats his friends it’s no wonder he has so few of them.

In the Old Testament the prophet Habakkuk asked God how long he’d have to call him for help, help that never seemed to arrive when needed.

How long, Lord, must I call for help,
    but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
    but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
    Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?
Destruction and violence are before me;
    there is strife, and conflict abounds.

Habakkuk wants knowledge of good and evil. Ask Adam and Eve how that went for them…

Do I want knowledge of good and evil? Or am I going to forgive and bless my enemies and let God deal with them?

I think I have my answer. I think I actually just had a breakthrough!

Trust

O Christ Jesus, when all is darkness and we feel our weakness and helplessness, give us the sense of Your presence, Your love, and Your strength. Help us to have perfect trust in Your protecting love and strengthening power, so that nothing may frighten or worry us, for, living close to You, we shall see Your hand, Your purpose, Your will through all things.

~ St. Ignatius of Loyola

Crossing the Hecate Strait

I boarded the ferry to the Queen Charlotte Islands, as Haida Gwaii was known in those days, and found a seat for the 6-hour trip across the Hecate Strait. I made sure I was seated so I could face the window. The seasoned passengers had booked cabins so they could leave their possessions safely while they roamed the decks or went to the cafeteria. Other travellers bunked down around the perimeter of the main lounge with their sleeping bags and packsacks. I tried to settle in my seat but the back was at an uncomfortable angle. It was going to be a long trip.

In those pre-internet days, we read books, played cards, or talked to our travelling companions while we were on a journey. I opened my book and tried to concentrate but the young couple sitting behind me were talking and distracting me.

The man told his wife that the Lord had told him several things. She responded that the Lord had also communicated with her. They were very confident and self-assured about this. On and on it went, the two of them describing their mission from God. I was not used to people of faith talking about their relationship with Jesus. I thought it was bizarre and obnoxious.  I wondered if they were making a big show of it for my benefit.  I also wondered why they didn’t speak in hushed tones about their faith. You know, like a Catholic would.

Not that I really had a clue about what a Catholic would do. Even though I got myself to church fairly regularly I couldn’t have given you a confident and clear answer on much of anything the Church taught. My faith was more of a vague spirituality and a list of don’ts. 

After about 15 minutes of listening to this couple talk about their direct line to God, I was thoroughly annoyed and I tried to find another seat. I ended up near another couple. Listening to them speak German, which I barely understood, was preferable to listening to the Christian couple speak in English about things I could not understand at all.

Even in my aggravation I was also envious that they had this freedom to speak out loud about their beliefs and experiences. I really wanted that for myself but I didn't know how a Catholic could do that. I suspected Catholic Charismatics might be able to, but they were so foreign to me I didn't think I could bridge that gap or would even want to. Perhaps the Holy Spirit led me to that particular seat so he could stir my conscience and my soul, though it would be at least another 10 years before I experienced any real conversion.  

"For your mercies’ sake, O Lord my God, tell me what you are to me. Say to my soul: “I am your salvation.” So, speak that I may hear, O Lord; my heart is listening; open it that it may hear you, and say to my soul: “I am your salvation.”

After hearing this word, may I come in haste to take hold of you. Hide not your face from me. Let me see your face even if I die, lest I die with longing to see it.

The house of my soul is too small to receive you; let it be enlarged by you. It is all in ruins; do you repair it.

There are things in it – I confess and I know – that must offend your sight. But who shall cleanse it? Or to what others besides you shall I cry out?

From my secret sins cleanse me, O Lord, and from those of others spare your servant. Amen."

- St. Augustine

Reminders

Has this ever happened to you?

There are times we reject the Church's teaching because they remind us of times when we sinned, even if we didn't know we were. It's just too painful to hear people talk about even when we know they aren't talking about us specifically. Even if we've healed from these events and forgiven it's never pleasant to be reminded of those events. 

I can't remember who wrote that. I found it in my journal but didn't note who the author was. I need to be more diligent! 

Swimming In the Shallow End of the Pool

Politics is not something I want to write about on this blog but in light of all that is happening this year I realized that for the first time ever, within 3 months, North America could be led by 3 Catholic politicians. Now I know what some of you are thinking and I agree with you. Two of these fellows are Catholics in name only. The third, the president of Mexico, does identify as Catholic but prefers to call himself a “Christian, in the broadest sense of the word…” Fair enough. In fact, I think he is the most truthful one of the bunch.

So, let me dig a little deeper into the faith of the other two. Actually, I don’t think I have to dig too deep at all as their beliefs seem more wide than deep. Recently I read a chapter in Dan Burke's book Spiritual Warfare and the Discernment of Spirits and he writes,

Catholics simply do not know the Faith they claim. Years of immersion in the shallow end of the pool does not teach someone to swim, no matter how much time they have spent in the water.

And I can’t remember where I read this but,

Being sentimental about rosaries or nuns is not faith.

I don’t personally claim to have insider knowledge of a certain prime minister or that guy running for president south of the border but I have heard on multiple occasions of their support for abortion, among other things.  Just supporting abortion alone is contrary to Catholic teaching. Yet, a former first lady of America states that the presidential candidate is 'guided by faith'. Not sure how she came to that conclusion. I mean, standing in a garage doesn’t make me a car, same as sitting in a church doesn’t make me a Christian.

Please don’t get me wrong – this is not a post of support for the current president. He has used people of faith because they routinely vote for his party. He’s no more prolife than the other politicians I have referenced.

Our neighbours to the south are in deep trouble. Their only hope is to pray for an outcome to the election that is pleasing to God. I have no idea how that is going to happen without an enormous and miraculous conversion. Americans need to fast and pray for their country. We need to do the same for ours but for the moment our politeness as Canadians, which is rapidly deteriorating as the virus continues to grip our country, will hopefully keep us from self destruction.

All of this reminds me of Luke 19:41-44 where Jesus wept as he approached Jerusalem and said the city would be crushed by its enemies because the people didn’t recognize the time of their visitation from God. I am praying we will be attentive and recognize his presence before it is too late.

Love and Mercy

Welcome!

"I am just a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world. "

~ St. Mother Teresa

I am praying that I am open so that this same God will send you his love through this blog. 💝