How many times have I written, “when I returned to the Church,” – so many times! But it’s a story worth telling and there are many facets to it. There was even a particular Protestant writer that helped me come back to the Church.
I spent Advent 2002 going to Mass every Sunday. I went to the
Christmas Mass. And then…nothing. This was my typical cycle. Start strong, end
with a thud. Then just before Lent 2003 began, the parish priest contacted me to ask
what we were going to do about the decree of nullity for
my first marriage, as I had not yet followed through with that.
Thus, began my search for my baptismal records (a long
story), which led me to a Catholic Q&A forum, and also to my local public
library. I didn’t know the parish had a library or I might
have explored what they had to offer. In the end, I think I was meant to end up
at the public library because I learned some important lessons there.
I found the religion section in the library and
started looking for books with a Catholic theme. I found a biography of a
Catholic priest who left the Church so he could get married. I also found an
author who contributed to publications that didn’t promote authentic Catholic
teaching, though I was ignorant of that at the time. During my search, I also
came across the books of Corrie ten Boom, a Dutch woman who had been active in
the resistance during World War II. She belonged to the Christian Reformed
church but I was intrigued by the blurb on her book, The Hiding Place, as I was
very interested in the experiences of those who had lived through the war,
especially in Holland.
I read the entire book by the former Catholic priest. I was
not impressed with his story and his abandonment of his vows. I read part of
the book by the other Catholic author, whose name I am purposely withholding.
Even with my lack of Catholic knowledge and experience, I could recognize the
falsehoods he was perpetrating. I was disgusted.
The book by Corrie ten Boom was the complete opposite. It
completely captivated me in my search for truth. She wrote about Jesus like he
was her personal friend, which he was.
He led her in her daily decisions and how she treated people. The bible
was not a list of optional suggestions and platitudes, it was her life. She
lived and breathed the word of God. I could trust her. She kept her eyes on
Jesus, I needed to do the same.
That was my last trip to the public library for religious
books. I found an online bookseller shortly after that and began to fill my
shelves with orthodox materials. I spent a few more years on the Q&A forum
but eventually, I had the basics down and I could trust my instincts regarding
reading and viewing materials. I also ended up buying The Hiding Place so I could
always have a copy of a Protestant book that made me a more faithful Catholic. I
think Corrie would be OK with that. 😄
My favorite saints - thanks for this lovely post.
ReplyDeleteA book I’ve been meaning to read for years.
ReplyDelete