Do You Know Him?

I read a most thought provoking quote the other day. K. Johnson wrote, “There’s a big difference between acting like Jesus is someone you know rather than a concept that you read about for behavioral principles. Or a crucifix wall decoration. “

When I returned to the Church, I wanted to know what all the “rules” were. I wanted to do things correctly and not stick out. I wanted to look serene and gracious, like the other “church ladies.” So, I read a lot of books on doctrine and dogma and observed those whom I felt were most devout. If I did have to stick out, which I dreaded, it would be because I was exceptionally holy or gifted (even I’m rolling my eyes at myself over that one!) I felt if the outside looked tranquil and pious then it would reflect the inside.

If you read that paragraph again you will see that not once did I mention Jesus, a relationship with him, his transforming love, or his healing power. That’s because I did not really know him, I only knew some things about him. I believed he was real but it was more on the level that you know a famous person is real. You could hear about them, admire them, even strive to be like them, but it was unlikely you’d ever actually come face to face with them.

So, I kept reading books about faith. I read the bible a bit but I found it somewhat confusing. I was really more interested in the letter of the law and how to apply it. I felt like if I didn’t make any more mistakes then I’d be what I thought Jesus wanted me to be – perfect.

Thankfully Jesus didn’t leave me in that state. Opportunities came to me for healing. Six years ago, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit and that’s when things really started to change in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I developed a love for scripture, I began to see how the letter of the law must be balanced with the spirit of it, but most of all I discovered Love.

Well, I didn’t so much discover love as I found out that I am loved. SO LOVED. By Jesus. Me!!! I almost couldn’t take it in. I had done so many stupid, senseless, even evil things. But Jesus said, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”

He did that on the Cross. This is why the crucifix isn’t just a wall decoration. That crucifix on your wall or on your necklace is every book of the bible, the entirety of salvation history, the enormity of Jesus’s love for you, summarized in one sign.

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Lord, I thank you for my little insight into your boundless love. I thank you for the response in my own heart. I thank you for the love of others. Let my heart praise you, O God. Amen.