Forgiveness

During Lent we are not only called to pray, fast and give alms, but to forgive. While doing the daily readings this morning I was struck by a passage from the psalm. 

Blessed the man who...delights in the law of the Lord. Psalm 1

What is the Law of the Lord? Love. Love of others, love of self. That includes forgiving ourselves, which can be even more difficult than forgiving others. But as with any form of forgiveness we can only do it with, and through, the grace of the Lord. I have often resented my weaknesses but I've also come to learn that I can give these weaknesses to Jesus and He can transform them. Why would He do this? Love. 

There can be shame involved when thinking of things we have done, acts we have committed, but shame is a boundary experience and can help us to refrain from repeating these actions. We do need to ensure we don't get stuck in that emotion, though. Remember that feelings are like visitors, we let them in for a time and then we see them out. 

How will you let the Lord love you today?

Ash Wednesday

The three pillars of Lent are praying, fasting, and almsgiving.  Sounds simple, right? 

I struggle with prayer because I'd much rather be distracting myself with banal entertainment so I don't have to face the demands of God. Prayer also takes effort. I tell myself I will pray when I have some quiet time or when hubby goes to bed or when I am laying in be...ZZZzzzzz. Yeah, that never works. If I take the time to make a date with a friend, to make sure I meet them on time, to put my phone away when we are together, why don't I make this same effort for God?

I hate fasting. I don't eat three meals a day, I like to graze, so the whole notion of only eating at set times makes me uncomfortable. It's 9:25 pm on Ash Wednesday as I write this and all I can think about is eating a cookie. Or a piece of toast, I'll even skip the butter. OK, half a bowl of cereal with more milk than solids. It's usually a day I white knuckle through and I've been known to stay up to 12:01 AM to eat something before bed. But that defeats the purpose of fasting, of being in solidarity with those that cannot have anything, no matter what time of day it is. Fasting also helps our spiritual perception and discernment, and strengthens intercession. This is why the Holy Father has asked us to offer up our fasting and mortifications today for Ukraine. The Lord will act without our efforts but more grace will be poured on those that need it when we offer Him our little sacrifices. 

Almsgiving is pretty easy. Just write a cheque or e-transfer the money and presto, I did something good! I think a better way to do it is to have a jar on the table or counter and with each sacrifice put cash in the jar. Or at least use beans to represent dollars and then redeem the beans later. I like the idea of thinking about the person each time I am donating and praying for them as well, to be conscious of the big picture.

All that being said, don't tie yourself in knots trying to pray 10 rosaries a day, live on crusts of bread and water, and drain your pension fund to donate to charity. In all things there needs to be balance. God isn't trying to crush us, He is giving us this season so that we can return to Him and He can fill us with His goodness, mercy and love. 

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there until they have watered the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and succeed in the thing for which I sent it. ~ Isaiah 55

The Great Circle of Being

For most of Lent I plan on writing reflections on the daily readings, or thoughts inspired by devotions such as Stations of the Cross, or the rosary. But today I want to talk about the Great Circle of Being.

We start Lent full of promise, with lists of books to read, devotions to practice, vegetarian meals to consume. By Day 10 the novelty has worn off, the rocks in our shoes hurt, the dinner of 3 prunes and 12 peas is no longer sustainable, sleeping only 4 hours a night has made us useless to our employers. So try not to think of Lent as a race, or a linear event. Think of it as a circle.

St. Thomas Aquinas wrote, "Issuing from the Primary Principle, creatures accomplish a sort of circuit, a gyratory movement, such that all things when they tend to their proper end are returning to the Principle whence they came forth ... We were created by the Son and by the Holy Spirit; and hence it is by them that we are brought back to our end." 

St. Maximilian Kolbe wrote, "Everywhere in this world we notice action...departure and return; going away and coming back; separation and reunion. The separation always looks forward to union, which is creative. All this is simply an image of the Blessed Trinity in the activity of creatures."

Think of Lent as returning to your Maker. It's about letting God do things in you, healing you, renewing you, bringing you full circle back to Him. 💕

And so we begin...

I was texting with a friend yesterday and we were talking about Lent. I thought it would be good to resurrect this blog and maybe post some brief thoughts every day. When I signed in I was shocked to see it has been nearly a year since I last posted! So here we are, on the eve of Lent, about to start our journey through the desert. Put your hand in the Lord's and we will go together. 

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:6-7

Restoration

An anniversary, a Gospel reading, and a Rosary mystery are all converging today. Eighteen years and one day ago it was Ash Wednesday, the Gospel reading for today is the Prodigal Son, and the Fourth Mystery on this Saturday is the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple.

What do these three things have in common? Restoration.

Just over 18 years ago I made a tentative return to the Church during Advent. I went to Mass every weekend and on Christmas Eve and then…nothing. As usual. Until the parish priest called me to follow up on the letter I had written to him about my desire to return. We had scheduled a meeting in December but I had canceled it. I think it was the season finale of my favorite show the night he wanted to get together. I know, I can’t believe I did that either. So, we set up another meeting and this time there was no looking back. It was full speed ahead to be restored to the Sacraments, which took another 15 months, but that’s another story for another day.

The Gospel today concerns the parable of the Prodigal Son. This young man wastes his inheritance, squanders the good will of his family, and ends up with the pigs – not a place any self-respecting Jew would care to be. One day he realizes he is not meant to live this way and returns home to the welcoming embrace of his loving and relieved father. I’m sure the parallels of my story and the Prodigal Son are easy to spot.

But what of the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple? I was listening to Bp. Barron’s meditations on the Rosary this morning and he reflected on the importance of the temple for ancient Israel as a dwelling place for the Lord, that this is where the human race was reconciled to him. Ezekiel 8-11 tells us that the glory of the Lord had departed the temple due to the rebellion and disobedience of the people and in Ezekiel 43 it returns. When Joseph and Mary bring Jesus to the temple the prophecy is wholly fulfilled.

In a sense, as a baptized Christian in whom the Trinity dwells, but who was away from the Church for many years, living in rebellion and disobedience, the glory of the Lord didn’t depart from me (it can’t because I am baptized) but his Spirit certainly went dormant. When I came back to the Church and was reconciled to God, the glory was renewed. I am not saying it made me sinless and perfect, far from it! I am saying that right relationship was re-established, that my emotions, intellect, and will were brought back into line, and like the Prodigal Son I was restored to my place in the family.

If you feel distant from Jesus, ask Mama Mary and St. Joseph to bring you to the temple. Close your eyes, imagine putting your hands in theirs, and walking with them into the Temple of Jesus’ Sacred Heart to begin again with joy. 

The Mountaintop

Today’s Gospel is from Mark 9:2-10 and depicts the Transfiguration of Jesus on a high mountain in front of his apostles Peter, James and John. I like to think that the phrase “mountaintop experience” comes from this passage of Scripture but there are many times God speaks life changing words to his people from a mountain. This experience isn’t necessarily a feeling of ecstasy but it is certainly an all-encompassing situation of total engagement and awe in the Lord’s power, often to the point where we are left speechless or perhaps incoherent.

When Scripture says Jesus’ clothes became dazzling white, whiter than anyone could bleach them, it reminds me of what happens to our sight when we are in a pitch-black room and someone snaps on the light. The light is so intense that we shut our eyes initially. I imagine Peter, James, and John wanting to see, but being so overcome with the Lord’s brightness, which is really his goodness and love, that they immediately squeezed their eyes shut until they were somewhat more accustomed to his radiance. Sound familiar?

In the spiritual life we often refer to mountaintop experiences as moments when we know God’s love for us so profoundly, we are changed by it. These situations are often precipitated by healing in our souls and by our forgiveness toward others, all of which are animated God’s grace working in us, with our consent. This is often done incrementally, with God lining up people to be his messengers and events to be His catalysts. While God is out of time, we are not, and he generally works within the framework he created for us.  

If you have not had a mountaintop experience do not be discouraged. Nine out the twelve apostles were not there with Peter, James, and John, yet eight of them became great evangelizers and healers. Keep praying, keep frequenting the Sacraments, keep reading Scripture, keep trusting God. As you continue climbing towards him, know that he sees you and he knows exactly where you are on his mountain. 

One Hundred Days

One hundred days ago I began praying the rosary as part of a preparation to renew my consecration to Mary. The prep lasted 46 days. I didn’t think I’d make it past the first 2 weeks, but obviously I did. Right after the renewal my prayer group rolled into a preparation to consecrate ourselves to St. Joseph. Praying the rosary was not a prescribed part of that program but I thought it would be a good idea regardless. So, I prayed it another 33 days. After that consecration I figured what’s another 21 days to get to 100? And so here I am.

Many proponents of the rosary say your life will change if you pray it every day. I am usually cautious when it comes to claims like this. Does it mean I will be holier? Does it mean my charisms will be stronger? Will it help me to have more trust, less fear, spiritual equilibrium? And will it last? Will all the effort I put into setting aside 20 minutes a day bear fruit? I don’t think we can, or should, quantify our spiritual lives that way. But I will say that I was having a problem with intrusive thoughts and flashbacks when I started praying the rosary daily and these events have become less frequent and less bothersome lately.

As I write this we are in Lent. Will I make it to 150 days? That is certainly the plan. And while graces and insights seem more accessible during this time of the liturgical year that’s not the only reason to keep up the prayers. To meditate on the life of Our Lord, to ponder the virtues and fruits of the mysteries, to lift our hearts to eternal truths, to deposit that into the divine economy, has to be good for everyone, not just me. It’s cooperation in salvation. And isn’t that the point of Lent and ultimately of Easter?