Reflections

I tried to keep a sober Advent. It’s not a penitential season such as Lent but it’s certainly countercultural to keep things low key. In some ways the dratted virus has helped as we are not allowed to go to parties or gatherings. For the first time ever, I’ve burned every single Advent candle until the last drop of wax has evaporated. That’s a lot of praying. At the same time, we do not live off the grid and I swear every show on the cooking channels has featured Christmas baking since the day after Halloween. I am done with red and green, and chocolate as the fifth food group.

Now we are on Day 4 of the Christmas season. The fridge needs reorganization, the garbage is almost overflowing in the outside bin, the flowers are wilting, the Christmas lights seem faded. I am finding cookie crumbs everywhere and I cannot stomach the sight of any more baked goods. My husband wants steak and potatoes for dinner, I want to let my stomach feel hunger pangs for the first time in days. I am trying to continue to feel Christmas Joy but what I really want is a night of sleep that is uninterrupted by a yet another dosing of antacids at 3:00 am. Yet we are supposed to feast during the Octave, these 8 days of Christmas.

I have always found the 4 days between Boxing Day and New Years Eve to be confusing, mixed up, devoid of proper schedules and meals. It’s like time is a waiting room in a hospital. We are waiting for the death of the old year – which cannot come soon enough this particular year – and the birth of the new one. It is a good time to reflect and to plan. Except that nobody will ever look back on this “annus horribilis with undiluted pleasure” to paraphrase our monarch from a speech she gave in 1992 when 3 of her children split from their spouses and her favorite home/castle sustained extensive fire damage. It will be difficult to plan for 2021 as well, as we are going “into the unknown”, to quote my granddaughter’s favorite princess.

To prepare for the upcoming year I will take a page, a question really, out of the Baltimore Catechism. Question #2 asks,” why did God make you? God made me to know him, to love him, and to serve him in this world, and to be happy with him forever in the next.” How that transpires in 2021 will be anybody’s guess but if I put my trust in God, I can be as sure as Julian of Norwich when she promised, “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”

José y Maria

 I just came across this image today. It's a modern day take on Joseph and Mary, on their way to Bethlehem. At first I was repulsed. Then I was ashamed. Then I started thinking, that's probably the same reaction Mary and Joseph received 2000 years ago - rejection. 

I've always loved the "air brushed" (or should I say white washed?) manger scene, it's so cute with the furry animals and the little baby. You get older and you realize how smelly and dirty the stable was. You learn how the Cross overshadowed the Crib. But I always felt sentimental about it. This picture turned that feeling inside out. This was God's Christmas gift to me this year. 

Read more about this image HERE.

The First Christmas Eve

Darkness is falling quickly and the stars begin to peep out of the blue-black velvet sky. The city is noisy and full of people. I am employed at an inn and we are bursting at the seams because Caesar Augustus has decreed a census. We’ve got people sleeping in the food preparation area, camped in the courtyard, and doubled up in private rooms. Even the traveler’s animals are tightly packed into the stable. I send out the servant boy to put extra hay in the manger so the animals will rest quietly with full stomachs.

It’s late and there’s a knock at the door. The innkeeper answers it. There is a couple looking for a place to rest for the night and they tell him he is their last hope. The innkeeper regretfully says we are full. But as I pass by the doorway on my way to look for the servant boy who is taking his time, I see that the young woman, a girl really, is fairly bursting with child, her coarse dress straining across her belly. If she doesn’t find a place to rest, I’m afraid she’ll have the baby right there in the entrance.

The innkeeper and I exchange looks and he motions his head towards the back, where the stables are. I nod at the couple and ask them to come with me. They smile shyly and follow me. The young woman gratefully settles on the dirt floor next to the pen that holds the lambs.

I feel terrible they are in the stable but there’s nothing else I can do. I would offer them my room but I am already sharing with a number of servant girls, some of them strangers. The young woman’s husband would not be allowed in there and she needs him close by.

In the middle of the night, I am woken by a brilliant light and the sound of otherworldly singing. I grab my wrap but forget my sandals, as I run outside to see what is causing the commotion. I see shepherds heading toward the stables. I am confused because they should be out in the fields. Concerned about the young woman, I follow the shepherds. And there, laying in the manger, is the most beautiful, radiant baby I have ever seen.

He is sleeping peacefully, under the tender gaze of his young mother, her smooth hand curved around his little head. The new father stands watch over the baby and his mother as the shepherds kneel speechless in adoration. I too drop to my knees, heedless of the aroma of animals and unwashed shepherds in such close quarters. For He is here! Our Saviour is HERE!

Who Are You?

I was watching a hysterical video yesterday of a children’s Christmas program. There was a choir of kids singing and also a group of preschoolers who were recreating the manger scene of the first Christmas. All was going well until one of the “sheep” decided she wanted to take “Baby Jesus” (a doll) out of the manger to play with him. Well, “Mother Mary” was having none of that. Hilarity ensued and I think she finally retrieved her baby by putting the sheep in what looked to be a head lock!

But it got me thinking, who am I in the Nativity scene?

Am I the beast of burden, bringing Christ to his birth place in people’s hearts? Am I a king, bearing gifts for him? Or am I the innkeeper who has no room for him? What about the smelly sheep? An angelic messenger announcing his arrival? A simple shepherd, who despite my lack of knowledge, still shares good news with others about Jesus? Am I silent Joseph, quietly trusting that God will bring great good out of a situation that I don’t understand? Or obedient Mary, letting his will be done in me and being permeated by the Holy Spirit. Or maybe I am even the star, guiding others to the perfect Light.

Who are you in in that wondrous stable?

Who Helps You?

My friend and I are working through a little book of Advent Gospel reflections this season. Each day features the Gospel, a reflection on it, and a thought provoking question. Here is today's:

In his wisdom and power, God arranged for certain people to aid in the mission of his Son (e.g., the birth of John the Baptist from a barren mother and the sinlessness of Jesus' mother, Mary). Who has God put in your life to help you fulfill the mission he has entrusted to you?

I thought of the priest who walked with me through my decree of nullity and who patiently answered my many emails with all sorts of questions about the faith. He helped me correct my situation so I could receive the Sacraments again.

The long time friend whose bible knowledge is brought to life by the engaging way she weaves the events and people together, speaking about those people as if she just had coffee with them this morning. She helps me to see the bible isn't words on a page but a living document, a love letter from God.

The lady who gave me a book that changed the way I understood the Real Presence in the Eucharist and how it was rooted in Passover from the Book of Exodus. 

The two leaders from the healing retreat that were my spiritual midwives and helped bring me back to life. 

The friend who leads our apostolate with me. She shows me how to let the Spirit lead and that it's not all about the letter of the law.

The family member that sent me a 15 year Mass card when my mom died when I was so very far away from the Church. Eventually I followed that gossamer thread to a Lenten mission that led to an explosion of graces. 

The friend whose example makes me pay attention to what is coming out of my mouth. 

The Latin Mass which reminded me that newcomers are confused when they first go to Mass, even the Novus Ordo. They need a friend to accompany them.

The lady that prayed over me at the pilgrimage. That set events into motion that reached clear across the country and brought healing, or at least a deeper awareness, into many lives.

The young Christian woman who was suspicious of the Blessed Mother and who told me to never send her any Catholic material of any kind. In spite of that she continued to phone me and ask me questions about the Catholic faith until she realized it was exactly where she belonged and she loved Mary. 

Every person that ever spoke to me while I was praying at 40 Days for Life, whether they agreed with me, and maybe especially when they didn't.

Oh goodness, I could go on and on. I have been so blessed by so many people that have crossed my path. And I can't leave out my poor long-suffering husband who spends every Tuesday (well, until the virus arrived) washing the dinner dishes so I can go to Mass and RCIA. 

How to Pray

A few days ago it was the Memorial of St. John of the Cross. I read an excellent article about how one can pray as an intercessor according to insights he received.

1. Believe that God knows what is best for us, better than we do.

2. To see our needs and the needs of others, and to prayerfully hold those needs before God. Let us name these needs but simply indicate the lack and leave the rest to Jesus. Read the Wedding Feast at Cana in John 2:1-11 for a perfect example. All Mary says is, they have no wine (indicate the lack) and, do whatever he tells you (leave the rest to Jesus.) 

3. Patiently wait with Mary for God to act on his terms, and in his time, in a way that all the glory belongs to Him and leads us to joyful praise. 

If you want to read the original, and much more eloquent article, you may find it HERE.

The Convent - Part 1

I watched this 4 part series a few years ago. Be prepared for some poor behaviour and language from the retreatants. Overall it's very interesting and reminded me of some of my own retreats, though none of them have been 40 days long!

The Convent 2006 Part 1 of 4 - YouTube