Straining at the Oars

When evening came, the boat was out on the sea, and Jesus was alone on the land. When he saw that they were straining at the oars against an adverse wind, he came towards them early in the morning walking on the sea. He intended to pass them by. But when they saw him walking on the sea, they thought it was a ghost and cried out; for they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid. “Then Jesus got into the boat with them and the wind ceased.  ~ Mark 6:47-51

Friends, how often have you been in that boat, straining at the oars against an adverse wind? Why do we resist? Do we think we know better than God? Does our fear keep us living at the surface, never giving trust a chance to build?

I remember when I was about 8 years old, swimming in the salty ocean water of an island cove. In April. It was freezing! But that wasn’t the worst part. I feared I would drown. I had a life jacket on, I knew how to swim, the water was calm, and we were being supervised. Yes, everyone thought my friend and I were crazy to do this but that’s not the point. The point was that I did not trust my life jacket, the thing designed to specifically keep me afloat. It took every ounce of courage I had to let go of the dock and swim out a few strokes. Even though I was a good swimmer with safety gear on, I looked like a thrashing dog because of my terror. Within minutes my friend and I returned to dry land.

When I was 10 another friend and I took out a dinghy at the lake we were staying at. I sat passively while he rowed furiously. We went around in circles until we realized we would continue to be restrained until we untied our craft.

That was the kid version of straining at the oars. How strenuously do you force yourself to resist trust now, to resist true freedom now?

The paradox of trusting Jesus is that to be free you have to submit. Submit your pride, submit your expectations, submit your will. God may let your pride be hurt and your expectations be dashed, but he will never, ever force your will. Even if it means you will bear the natural consequences of your actions, even if you sin, even if you face death.

I have sort of wondered at times if he trusts us too much when he knows how untrustworthy we can be. I wonder if he’s given us too much freedom in regard to our wills. But legislated love isn’t love at all. And the more I come to know him, to fathom how much he loves me, the more I want to do his will. Its not always easy, even when things are going well. But it’s always better than straining at the oars.

Mary and Joseph's Unusual Marriage

My prayer group is studying Fr. Donald Calloway’s book “Consecration to St. Joseph.” This week we read a quote by St. Lawrence of Brindisi that gives us some insight into Mary and Joseph’s marriage. The quote was used in a different context, to offer a response to the question of who is greater, St. Joseph or St. John the Baptist. However, it does contain this little nugget:

…for just as husband and wife are one flesh, so too Joseph and Mary were one heart, one soul, one spirit.

But Joseph and Mary were not one flesh.

They had what is termed a Josephite marriage. Such a marriage means both parties agree to abstain from sex by a free mutual decision, rather than resulting from impotence or the views of one party.

The parents of St. Therese of Lisieux entered into such a union, but after one year their spiritual advisor directed them to consummate the marriage, which resulted in the birth of nine children, five of whom survived to adulthood.

The first time I heard the term Josephite marriage was when I was trying to understand Mary’s perpetual virginity and the concepts of continence, chastity, and celibacy. Also, even though the Protoevangelium of James was condemned and rejected by Church authorities, it does help us to comprehend the circumstances around Mary’s upbringing and unusual marriage to Joseph. You may read it HERE. 

Chaplet Meditations for the Sick

On the 4^th and 5^th, I wrote reflections for praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet for self examination and for the dying. Today I have written them for the sick.

When I consider the lacerations made by the crown of thorns, I recognize how illness can wear us down. Not only physically but mentally. We can easily become despondent, even wishing for a hastened death.  I pray for the gift of hope.

I consider his torn right hand, used to lay his hands on the sick and heal them. I pray for the gift of his blessing and restoration.

I venerate the wound in his pierced left hand, reflecting on the need to set things right, not because death may be imminent – it’s always imminent - but because it’s the new commandment, to love God and our neighbour. I pray for the grace to forgive.

While meditating on the holes in his feet, I think of those who have walked away from Jesus. I pray for the grace of conversion and reconciliation.

And finally, I look to where the spear penetrated his side, where Blood and Water poured out from his Sacred Heart. May the sick be covered, filled, and made clean by that outpouring of love and mercy.

Go to Joseph

Ite ad Joseph

Chaplet Meditations for the Dying

Yesterday I contemplated the wounds of Jesus crucified as they related to my sins. Today I offer some reflections and prayers to help the dying, especially those who are unprepared spiritually, to make peace with God and their neighbour.

When I consider the lacerations in his head from the crown of thorns, I think of the looping thoughts of someone who is dying in torment from fear of the unknown, perhaps dreading eternal punishment or pretending to ignore it. I pray that Jesus makes his merciful presence known to them. I think of those continually replaying hurtful events and holding grudges. I pray these people receive the grace to forgive.

His pierced right hand reminds me that so many have been abused and violated. I pray for those that meted out the abuse and violence, that they will experience sorrow for their sins before they die and try to make amends. For those they hurt, who fear that forgiveness is condoning the actions of others and feeling they are unable to offer that forgiveness, I pray they will let thoughts of revenge go and let God deal with the offender in his way.

The deep wound in Jesus’ left hand helps me think of those that acted with indifference and intolerance towards others, that abandoned their families or duties, or considered their sins of omission as less grievous than sins of commission. I pray their hearts will be softened and opened by the love of Jesus.

While meditating on the holes in his feet I pray for those far away from God, that are resistant to opening their hearts. I pray they realize Jesus is not chasing them away but walking towards them, meeting them where they are, showing them his heart and knowing their hurts.

And finally, I gaze at the bloody gash in the side of Jesus. I hope that as his redeeming blood washes over the dying that they realize they are able to hide in this wound. Even though I believe his heart beats for me, even I am a little bit scared. If I am scared, then Lord, help me try to understand those that fear you, so I may not dismiss their fears but show them your love and your mercy.

Contemplate His Wounds

I’ll be honest – sometimes I prefer praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet over the Rosary. Why? Because I think it takes all of 7 minutes if you don’t add the closing prayer (Eternal God in whom mercy is endless…) and the prayer for Divine Mercy (Diary of St. Faustina 1570). I do add those prayers though, especially the latter, because it’s so beautiful. I love the imagery of the merciful Heart of Jesus being like an open gate.

One thing that has always puzzled me is that there are no specific meditations for the chaplet like there are for the rosary. Is it because it’s so short? Is it because it is less well known? I did come across a pamphlet a number of years ago with reflections on the Lord’s Passion, which I have found helpful. It has us consider not only the painful physical aspect of crucifixion, but the meaning that the particular wounds convey.

When I consider the lacerations in his head from the crown of thorns, my conscience is pricked regarding my thought life and how critical and judgmental I can be. 

His pierced right hand helps me reflect on how I’ve struck out in anger, not physically, but mentally. 

The deep wound in Jesus’ left hand reminds me of how insensitive or indifferent I can be, and how someone may now have to work to forgive me for my dismissal of them. 

While meditating on the holes in his feet I repent not only for all the years I walked (ran!) away from him, but how I can still recoil when he asks me to do something for him. 

And finally, I gaze on the bloody tear in his side, from where the spear went clear into his heart, baptizing me in a cascade of his Blood and Water, his love and mercy.

That's a lot to ponder in 7 minutes. I can see I'm going to need to take more time with this prayer. I'm also going to pray about how I can meditate on the wounds of Jesus crucified to help the dying, especially those who are unprepared spiritually, to make peace with God and their neighbour.

St. Joseph the Stalwart

 A week has flown by since I last posted. I can't say I've been busy because there is nowhere to go, nobody I can see, nothing except housework, reading, and updating facebook. I will try to post more this coming week. Hubby goes back to work Tuesday and I'll have more time during the day to write.

On the morning of January 1st I renewed my Consecration to Mary. I used a different book to prepare this time. It was an interesting book, but I prefer Fr. Gaitley's method which I wrote about HERE. 

Also, on the afternoon of the 1st, my prayer group and I began a another preparation, this time for consecration to St. Joseph. The book we are using was written by Fr. Gaitley's confrere, Fr. Donald Calloway, MIC. I have always held St. Joseph in great esteem but in only 3 days I've learned more about "Papa Joe" than I learned in my whole life prior to this prep. He is amazing.

I think St. Joseph will be a good patron this year. He is silent, trustworthy, and stalwart. I know I could benefit from an increase in those qualities and virtues.